gambitch - now available in blue

Friday, October 06, 2006

Tonight is the Mid-Autumn Festival, according to Chinese custom. Essentially, it's the 15th day of the eighth month in the Chinese lunar calendar. This festival is traditionally celebrated by kids who will walk around carrying lanterns, while the adults enjoy this sweet Chinese food referred to as the mooncake. It's essentially made of lotus paste stuffing on the inside, which makes it very sweet.

I'm a sucker for sweet food, in case you didn't know, so I've got quite a thing for mooncakes. Unfortunately, due to external circumstances, I will not be able to enjoy my usual servings of mooncake this year. Nevertheless, it will be a fun occasion this evening, as it always has been in the past. The only difference is that this year, I am celebrating the festival at a rather unusual location.

At least I'll be doing something that hasn't got anything to do with football, for a change. Yes, some diversity is always good.

But I definitely wish all of you a happy Mid-Autumn Festival.

May your every evening be just as sweet as the mooncake.

gambitch [ 5:50 PM]

Thursday, October 05, 2006

His face
crumpled
like a sheet of
trash paper
crushed
into a ball

Every muscle
distorted
by a silent
anguish
as the body
turgid
with sickened
self-reproach
banged on
its very walls
seeking to break out
and force a scream
of unprecedented
proportions

His eyes
burned with anger
at himself
and there were
no tears
for he had
once again
forgotten how to
cry
when that was
what he really
wanted

He had
done wrong
in uttering
those words of impulse
in a fit
of desperation
when all he wanted
to do
was to cry
for help

His cries
were misphrased
mistimed
and inevitably
misunderstood

And so what was
meant to be
a cry for help
a feeble effort
at begging for
attention
became a threat
he did not really
mean to make
much less
follow through

And how
it comes back
to haunt him
as the words
were thrown
straight back
over
and over
and over

He never meant it
for he was too
panicked
to have functioned
normally

And how he
is made
to suffer for it
even if
it was never
meant that way

Not the
first time
nor the
second
or third
or last

Not when
the words
came from his lips
or from
someone else's

He is sorry
yet no apology
could ever be
enough

Wrong was done
in the utterance

But would the wrong
be forgiven
and forgotten?

Could he
feel safe
and ready
again?

It is
not
his call

gambitch [ 4:45 AM]

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

I should have known better
I should have been more conscious
than to have burst out
in a chain of explosions
that left you bewildered
resigned
maybe exasperated

And that's me
that's the me I can't rein in
that disappoints more than
any other mistake I could make

Honto gomen ne...
Sorry...

gambitch [ 8:33 AM]

Monday, October 02, 2006

I hadn't been doing my bit to report the dead blogs at Blogshares for a little while, so I thought I'd just take a little time to do this, after I had finished my regular work. Now, it so happened that in the course of identifying a few more dead blogs, I came across this video for a pretty beautiful song I had heard.

I didn't know what song it was, but the video looked interesting, so I decided to do a little searching around at YouTube. I just love these guys. All I had to go on was the title "My Immortal", and it turned out this song by Evanescence. I'm aware of Evanescence, of course, but I hadn't been tracking their music, so I was suitably ignorant about this song.

It is, all said, a very beautiful song to listen to. Quite moving in the gentle, quiet way, where you get gripped before knowing it.

Here's the music video, then...

Enjoy it.

Funnily enough, the title of the album where My Immortal can be found is called Fallen. For those who didn't already know, Fallen was one of my previous names, when I existed in a different space.

Why Fallen? I'll leave you to work that one out.

gambitch [ 5:12 AM]