gambitch - now available in blue
Our constant efforts to reinvent ourselves reveal how much we fear our own images.

Saturday, May 10, 2003

An irregular blurt (you get one of these once in a while).

It has occurred to me that, to different extents, we are all children of some kind or other. For instance, there is the dark child, a being with many gloomy, dark images, mainly in themes of bloody red or black. Dark children tend to draw one another together in some form of brotherhood, though deep down, they may well yearn for the appearance of a light child to throw a little sunshine and warmth into their grim, icy worlds. Oddly enough, though, dark children enforce upon themselves an extended state of denial. They often bring themselves to believe that all is fine with themselves and that their present state suits them just fine, even though they often realize that nothing could be further from the truth. Therein lies a curious contradiction that the dark child struggles to resolve.

But what about the light child?

gambitch [ 11:42 PM]

On reflection, it has definitely been some week. Not for nearly ever have I had the kind of action-packed week I just had in the past seven days.

Working for an organization that deals with political heavyweights has its occasionally unexpected benefits. Just yesterday, for example, I managed to find out when our country's Prime Minister would deliver his annual address. Sort of like George W Bush's State of the Union Address. And I am among a small group of people my age to know when the event is going to be - several months ahead of most of my countrymen. Why did I even know about this? Our organization was intending to use the same venue as our esteemed Prime Minister, though in a slightly different time period. Out of curiosity, my colleague just asked, and the person on the other end of the telephone line did not think twice about answering.

It has been confirmed that I should be able to leave my post by early September. That is a relief. On the other hand, I will need to scout for a successor. It is not an easy job, especially given that a recent meeting had only three people turn up out of about ten or so. Two of the absentees were accounted for in advance - the rest were not. One even had the cheek to write in to say something along the lines of "Oh, I landed myself an internship, so I don't really think I can commit to doing anything heavy". For goodness' sake, this is a writing job! And the person just joined us two weeks ago.

Oh, well.

A couple of friends had visited today, so I decided I would hold a little ritual and have some blood-letting. After the initial bop in the head, the kids were visibly groggy and had absolutely no problems losing their footing. But I seriously felt this kind of deliberate move was necessary to knock some sense into their heads and wake them up to the cruel world. Yes, I am cruel, but it is a necessary evil. What does not kill you is supposed to make you stronger, unless of course you're so dead you can't be killed anyway to begin with.

You might wonder, of course, whether it is right for me to use the term 'kids' to refer to people who are about three to five years younger than me. I am not in the least apologetic about the use of this term, because honestly, they are kids. Most of them are still too young and too raw, untested in the field and yet to learn how to taste and savour blood. They are going to have a long way to go, even though I do try to accelerate the process. But every person is going to have to find his or her own place in the sun.

Alan Hansen, the ex-Liverpool defender and television pundit who famously criticized Manchester United in 1995 with the line "You'll never win anything with kids", was famously proved wrong in the very same season when Sir Alex Ferguson's boys won the League and FA Cup double. I think he generally had a point though, in referring to how a lack of experience would always make things difficult for a team who so badly wants to win. Just because United won the Double does not mean anyone and everyone can win trophies with kids. Indeed, I don't have a Scholes, Butt or Beckham who can pull a rabbit out of the hat.

It has been a tiring, but enriching week. Yes, it was some experience. For everything, thanks.

Tomorrow we shall hear the horn...

gambitch [ 8:51 PM]

Friday, May 09, 2003

The seasoned, faithful servant can probably take little more now. Next week I will shop for a new laptop.

gambitch [ 11:51 PM]

Thursday, May 08, 2003

Utada Hikaru - Addicted To You

I leave you to come to your own (probably wrong) conclusions.

gambitch [ 1:32 AM]

Today was a good day. Went to do some shopping for medicines, and I suddenly had to consider the merits of giving grown men and women chewable Vitamin C tablets, pills, capsules, pastilles, whatever because they had less of the vitamin and thus less wastage. The only problem is, how do you convince adults to eat this kind of stuff if they are already averse to drinking effervescent tablets with plain water? That is practically treating them like children, and while some may like that (yes you, you can take off your bib now) most probably would not.

Vitamin C is especially important with the SARS scare in the region. People used to find no problem with leaving their immune system a little weaker because ordinary flus are generally harmless, and so catching the flu was not a big deal. SARS has changed this mentality; now people are less willing to take any chances in terms of keeping their immune systems strong. There was even a spell when people believed that taking Vitamin C would be a good preventive measure against SARS, as if the virus was airborne like the ordinary flu bug. Sportspeople are now very cautious about falling ill because it won't just be their performance on the field that is at stake, but possibly their lives.

If only everyone saw things that way.

Another brief spell of indulgence today; this time it was ice-cream. I don't usually spend on desserts and such mainly because it's not my thing, but these few days I find myself in the mood for it. Sitting down, having an ice-cream and taking in the atmosphere can be a very good experience, especially when you are seeking inspiration. That does not necessarily mean I am feeling more inspired now, but if the need arises in future, at least I know what options there are.

I will need to stock up on a new batch of weapons, to add to my current collection. Maybe a nice, sharp katana blade and a solid staff. Now, the only problem is that possession of weapons, even for decoration, is supposed to be illegal here.

Tomorrow, it's back to the chessboard.

gambitch [ 12:03 AM]

Wednesday, May 07, 2003

After all that talk about watching and playing football, the secret is out - gambitch is male! Oh, the horror!

So perhaps today I should discuss a rather personal subject that many guys - and quite specifically guys - may like to talk about. Namely, girls. A little more specifically, what kind of girl does gambitch like?

Let me say firstly that, while I know of a lot of men who talk freely about this subject, I am not like most men. No, my sexual orientation fits society's conventional norm, and yes, I actually am capable of liking girls. I just don't have a loose tongue, so I don't talk about things I consider more personal. Well, not readily anyway. So yes, this is a world exclusive interview with gambitch. You are reading stuff that has never before been made public.

Moving on to the subject proper - what kind of girls draw my interest, or to use coarser terms, turn me on?

There is this much-bandied-about statement that says when men look at women, they start not with the head, but with the breasts. Big boobs can be very attractive, both in terms of drawing visual attention and eliciting interest. But that's really at a hormonal level, when the body part doing the thinking is not the brain, so to speak. In fact, because of the way a girl's curves draw attention, this sometimes causes breasts to become a distraction keeping you away from trying to understand the rest of her better. So while Britney Spears' upper section may be nice to look at and good to hold, I'm sorry, but by no means is that a major factor as far as girl friends (with or without the space in-between) are concerned.

At the very least, I would probably look further up the girl first and give more visual attention to her face and hair. While specific features like bright, round eyes that can talk are very nice things, I think it is more important to consider the face in its entirety, and from there get a feel of the face's personality. Sometimes that can be affected by very simple things like how the girl keeps her hair. Very obvious, actually, but sometimes the most obvious things are exactly what we overlook. I really think it deserves mention though.

So what kind of looks do I like? I would describe this in terms of drinks. Some girls are like colas - very saccharine, very sweet, but coming into contact with them gives me a kind of shudder. I have sensitive teeth, and touching something too sweet can give a sharp tingle. An example of such a girl, if I am to draw an example from the entertainment industry, would be Kyoko Fukada. It gets especially irritating if the girl seems to be faking it, like a drink full of artificial sweeteners. In fairness to Kyoko, she is not that irritatingly sweet - I have seen worse, much worse.

Some girls are like milk - pure and smooth. Occasionally there is a slightly sour, yoghurty taste. Milky white innocence, perhaps. Girls who look angelic and innocent are always popular among men, especially the ones about whom there is something delicate, something that makes men want to protect them. Song Hae Gyo, she of Tales of Autumn fame, is one example. While some people may find her saccharine, her famous role in the Korean drama would in my opinion cast her more into the "fragile" category. This type of girl makes most guys go soft and mushy, and they would have an urge to go all out to shower such girls with love and care simply because they don't want these girls to come to harm. Nothing wrong with that, actually - but of course one has to ask himself if he is capable of bringing happiness to the girl. A very classic determinant of the goodness of the man, and in my opinion I would probably fail the test.

There are some other girls - sorry, women, rather - who are mature and sexy. The kind of women who ooze charm, like a good alcoholic cocktail. A woman like this often has to have some age, like good wine, so I don't think you will find any 18-year-old girl who is quite this type. People like Japanese artiste Naoko Iijima (Wedding Planner, Bus Stop) fit into this category. Absolutely charming people, and always interesting as a friend, and potentially highly romantic as well. However, I would probably draw the line at being good friends with women like this. As a love interest, this type of woman will always put pressure on the man to be romantic, even if she does not intend to; men can feel guilty rather easily for nearly anything if they have this kind of woman for a girlfriend.

The fourth and last type of comparison I would make would be to tea. Not the strong English tea or the "teh susu" with lots of sugar and milk thrown in, but the milder Oriental variety. Chinese and Japanese teas are very different from most other drinks simply because the taste is not very obvious. You gulp down a can of cola quickly, and you can still feel the sweetness even when you are distracted. You cannot be distracted when you take a sip of tea. Tea is a very subtle experience for which one tends to empty out everything else from one's mind first, before allowing the subtleness to slip through. It is thus also a very pacifying experience. Girls who are like tea are very mild and subtle, and sometimes you don't notice them because they do not scream out for attention the way saccharine girls do, nor does our attention naturally turn to them like it would towards charming women or innocent angels. They are very next-door and seemingly ordinary, but they become quietly endearing over time in a soft and subtle way. The Taiwanese singer Valen Hsu is a good example - something about her, I am not quite sure what, makes guys melt without realizing it.

Of the four types of girls, the second and fourth sometimes mix into each other. Good teas do not express only sweetness, but sometimes a sour, sad taste, or something mildly bitter. But isn't that like life, really? The weakly bittersweet experience, with occasional bouts of happiness and periods of sadness, but mostly simple, plain and neutral, waiting for the individual to sense what lies beneath the surface.

I've said quite a bit for the day. Maybe we will go into the topic again another time. Meanwhile I have to go and have my next sip of tea.

gambitch [ 3:44 AM]

Tuesday, May 06, 2003

I amazingly omitted to mention this earlier, but the cheesecake experience today (well, yesterday) was very pleasant. Thanks for making it happen.

gambitch [ 2:49 AM]

Monday, May 05, 2003

Kewell, Harte and Viduka score to beat Arsene's boys. The trophy does go to Manchester (which is good) and Leeds are now safe from relegation (which is not so good). Now it's a straight fight between Sam and Trevor. Neither team deserves this fate in my opinion, as both are very honest clubs filled with good men. Leeds don't deserve the reprieve.

Oh well, there are other things to celebrate.

gambitch [ 1:15 AM]

My back feels sore. Ouch...

At least I have something to show for my work this morning. All that hard running and tackling resulted in a goal and an assist from a throw in.

Perhaps I should rest early tonight.

I feel a little sorry about the readers coming to this blog and finding nothing much of note. All very boring, mortal stuff instead. Sometimes you wonder how people's lives can be so bland.

gambitch [ 12:54 AM]

Sunday, May 04, 2003

It's Saturday once more, and when it is Saturday, there is football. So the blog goes back to football fan mode today...

And what a crazy Saturday it has been. Absolutely fantastic results, especially the noon game. Alex is having his hands firmly on the trophy now. 4-1 to the Manchester, with the Dutchman getting 3. That puts the team 8 points ahead of Arsene's bunch, and that should really give them something to feel uncomfortable about. I still hope Arsene wins the next game, but the title should be sealed now.

Elsewhere the scores are equally amazing. Everton are choking big-time with own goals from Stubbs and their goalkeeper. They must be utterly panicked in their attempt to chase for a spot in Europe. Charlton getting whipped at Old Trafford should ease things a bit, and Hod's Spurs are really getting massive kicks in the teeth with Stevie Mac's outfit hitting for five. It is rather surprising how all the main contenders for Europe are sputtering today - all except Newcastle, who won 1-0.

At least West Ham are living up to their side of the bargain. They slowed Chelsea down with another 1-0 win courtesy of Paolo di Canio. I hope they win the last game as well and stay up.

gambitch [ 12:02 AM]


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