gambitch - now available in blue

Thursday, April 20, 2006

This was, all said and done, a very good day.

A very, very good day, in fact.

It's "that day".

I originally imagined that this would not have been as good a day as I meant it to be, because I had work. I didn't originally plan for this to be the case - quite the opposite. I usually try very hard not to work on this day. But this was one piece of work I could not run away from, because this was part of a deadline-busting item I was doing for someone else.

Anyway, as it happened, this was not as good a day as I meant it to be. Instead, it was better! Why? Because of what happened quite immediately after work. Basically, tea with a certain lovely colleague. It wasn't planned for, but she learnt about "that day" and decided tea was a good idea. And I would be utterly lying if I said I enjoyed it any less than very much.

The short of it was that I loved it. The only thing that was missing was a bit of cheesecake, but that was because cheesecake and chamomile don't go, and I wanted chamomile.

Would I wish for more occasions for tea? Yes yes yes!

But would I have to wait until "that day" again?

Oh, and in case anyone asked, I got the work out of the way pretty quickly afterwards.

gambitch [ 11:54 PM]

Monday, April 17, 2006

It certainly took a little while, but I just played in my first Sunday football game in ages. Well, actually, just weeks. But it sure felt like ages to me. My feet are a little sore after all that running. I have not done that in a little while.

Now, why was I running? Because I wasn't playing goalkeeper. What actually happened was that I was more than a little late because of some work I had not finished, so by the time I came, I figured the right thing to do to make up for lost time was to actually go out there and do some running. I was mostly playing in a roving position, defending and attacking as well.

So, how did I do? Well, no goals despite a couple of shots, mostly poorly taken and aimed straight at the goalkeeper. I did manage a couple of decent long passes though, and one led quite directly to a goal. So maybe I have improved a little in my playing and reading of the game after all this football writing I have been doing. It has to be said, given my lack of speed and stamina, I had to make up for it with something else.

Anyway, after the game I went back to work. There was a point where I nearly suffered mental shutdown halfway into the evening though. Mostly because I kinda got upset at something I perhaps should not have. Yeah, the old thing about not feeling appreciated when I heard some criticism from my new editor (the old one's moved back into journalism with someone else). To be fair, though, there was plenty of noise, and maybe I heard the wrong thing. And she (yes, it's a her) did apologize much later for what may have been (WAS!) a not-too-spectacular choice of words.

At the end of the day, though, the fact is this: I yearn for affirmation and approval. Mostly because I'm doing something many other people do not - dare not, or even care not - do. I need to know that I am doing the right thing. Yes, it's plain ol' ego. And yes, I've a big one. But no, I don't know what to do about it because I honestly take full pride in my work. If I compare my work to sculpture, every word I write is like a painstaking chip, repeatedly deliberated before the blow is struck. I'm under no doubt that it's very much the case for most if not all of my colleagues, but that is no reason for saying that it therefore isn't the case for me.

And yes, affirmation and approval from certain people who care and who matter means something. (If you're reading this - although I don't know how you'd ever get my blog URL - yes, I am referring to you.)

Fortunately, we've all more or less sorted that out for now. So I'm back at work again. Happily? Not totally, but not that unhappily either.

Meanwhile, I look forward to my next game on the field. This time, I'll be punctual.

gambitch [ 1:15 AM]