gambitch - now available in blue

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Sweetie, there's something you don't understand, that you need to, except I don't know how to tell you. (That's why I'm blogging about it here - even though I know you're probably not going to read this. I'd like you to, but I can't.)

It's not about taking over. It never was. I never wanted that.

You asked whether I want your position. I don't, not if it means you're supposed to give it up. No, that's not what I want.

The whole point is for you to still be there. I want you to be there. It's because you're there that I'm here. And that's the way I want it to stay - you being there.

You're too unique to replace.

What I really want is to be there with you. Side by side. You there doing the special thing only you can do, while I'm here covering your back and helping you out.

Because you can't do it alone. And even more truly, I can't do it alone. But we can do it together. You, and me, and everyone else.

But how do I tell this to you in a way that will let you understand?

I know you mean well when you say you want me to go away to a place where I can fly. But what meaning can that hold for me when I'm out there alone, backing out on my dreams and leaving all of you behind?

That's not what I want. I'm not in this for myself. That's not what I'm about.

Yes, I'm a stubborn and silly little boy. Maybe I make you sigh and wonder why there's somebody out there who's so stupid and won't take the offer that's best for himself. Anyone else would jump at that chance and grab it with both hands. Forget about everyone else and let them sort themselves out, as they surely will learn to do. Anyone else would do that.

But that's the point. I'm not anyone else. It's not about me. It's about... How do I say this?

I guess it's going to come out wrong. And you're going to take it exactly wrong. But I don't know how else to say it.

In many ways... it's about you.

How can anyone be so silly?
Because.

gambitch [ 4:14 AM]

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Someone told me recently that the commenting feature provided by Enetation does not seem to be working lately. This despite testing on my end verifying that the thing actually works.

I don't think the problem's general, unless there's evidence to suggest that this has happened with several computers. But readers who know how else to contact me should keep me informed if you too face problems.

gambitch [ 12:35 PM]